I am. I am me. I am not. I am unsure. I am nobody. I am everybody. I am animal, or man, or maybe manimal. I am not sure who the hell I am.  Does anyone really know who they are, or do we all just share a group illusion?

But, since we live in a world of personal identity and ego and narcissistic ways, I am trying my best to be a person, an individual, a distinct me. For most people, that is the simplest thing in the world. But not for me.

This is my dog and he is my best friend in the way only a dog can be. I truly don't know if I would still be alive today if not for him.

Okay, I haven't said much. About me. I haven't finished defining me. I am a work in progress and so is this site.  But, I will try to give some little insights into the attributes of the collection of cells called David Mandell.

Without further ado, some random details about me:

• I am middle-aged (53, OMFG!!) but don't feel anything close to my age, either physically or mentally, though I sort of look the part. Being "young at heart" is good in most ways, but has also caused me grief as we live in a society that is *very* age conscious.
• I consider myself a freak, in that I am different than most people I know. Different is good. And I am a good guy, full of love. Love is all there really is, no?
• I was married for 12 years, separated for 8 and finally divorced. It was an exceedingly difficult and emotionally draining experience. I thought I married for life and starting over ain't easy. I was the one who initiated the end of the marriage, but that hasn't made it any easier. It sucks. I'm trying to make it on the dreams that still remain.
• I am a Deadhead (a fan of the Grateful Dead), for whatever that is worth. Though as the years pass by the whole "dead" thing seems so very long ago. Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
• I love technology. I am a geek. I like geeky people. But, I also like hippies, and normal types and young and old. I guess I just like people.
• I am both outgoing and very shy.
• I love my dog. A lot! His name is Buddha (that was his name when I rescued him from a shelter) and it is very appropriate.  He is my own personal Buddha, he guides me, and helps me to better understand the art of living in the moment.  Thanks, Buddha :-)
• When it comes down to it, I love all life, both plant and animal, big and small.  It is pretty amazing in all its forms.  I don't even really define life as "organic" ... who is to say that a rock isn't alive?  Its molecules are dancing.  Life is dancing energy :-)
• I have a beautiful and uber-smart 18-year-old daughter. She is the best and I love her more than I can put into words. She is going to the University of Texas in Austin. What a busy girl! More busy than I could handle, but she seems to thrive on it. I think of her often and wish I could spend more time with her.
• I think the iPhone is one of the coolest gadgets ever. It feels like something gifted to us by an advanced civilization. I consider myself lucky to exist in a time when such a device is available to the masses. The possibilities are endless and it is only just beginning. Update: The iPad is freakin' awesome! Wow. Holding the future in my hands. So much better than those tablet computers they used on Star Trek: TNG.
• I have lived in many places (both in the US and elsewhere).  Recent history:  I spent a few years living on the west coast, in Oregon, and love it. I spent over a year on the Outer Banks of North Carolina taking care of my ageing mother. I am now on a "journey to nowhere" living on the road in a small RV with my dog, writing software, roaming from place to place. I live by the credo that my home is where I'm at.  And, indeed, I am here ;-)
• I like to read.
• I like to think.
• I like to ponder and discuss and wonder.
• I like coffee and tea and raw honey and dark chocolate.  Extravagantly simple pleasures!
• I believe that less is more.  Live simply so that others may simply live.  Reduce, then reuse, and if all else fails, recycle.  I really love simple things ... taking hours to bake a great loaf of bread, spending lots of time doing absolutely nothing, just grooving on existence, a content cat curled up near a sunny window in the middle of winter.  I also like technology, gizmos, the internet, and many aspects of modern society.  I am like that.
• I think that psychoactive drugs are mind-expanding in a good way and have enjoyed them throughout my life, but now I mostly get high on coffee and the magic of existence.
• I love the outdoors ... hiking and camping and exploring.
• I really want a girlfriend and life partner, but I am just not into dating per-se (the games and all), and I am not overtly social enough, so I haven't met anyone. I'm not your typical male breadwinner macho-guy type. I am different than most ... maybe someone will not only accept but will thrive on that difference.  I have learned to have a semblance of patience and I have hope / faith / whatever that someone right will show up eventually.
• I am mostly a vegetarian, though I don't like dogma and will occasionally eat meat, though not very often. The one exception is fish, which I eat fairly regularly. So, in the end, I am not a vegetarian, but I really like veggies!
• I sometimes feel like I was born on the wrong planet. I just don't seem to fit in with life as I find it. But, what is ... is what is, so I might as well accept it and get on with it. Where were we, now? Oh yeah, trying to figure out who I am. About me? Huh?